August 5, 2014
Dear David,
Seven
years ago today I stood on a sandy beach of Lake Superior in front of a
Circle of family and friends and made a promise to you. While you held
my shaking hands, I said that for as long as I live I will choose to
grow in my understanding of Love and my ability to allow Love to flow
through me. I promised that I will never abandon my choice to learn to
Love from the deepest place, unconditionally.
I also promised you that always I would love you to the best that I am able.
The
God in us was smiling that day even though he may have winced once or twice knowing what lay ahead of us, for such a promise will reveal all the obstacles that are hindering that Love from thriving.
And oh my, what obstacles we have encountered and tripped upon! What
wounds we have suffered trying to find our way!
I told
you something else that day on the sandy shore. I told you that you
were like the earth beneath our feet...and I was the water contained
within the bowl of you. Like the Lake, some days I will be serene, or a
bit playful; others frenzied and stormy, raging perhaps; others rolling
and purposeful. But always, always, contained within the bowl of the
earthen shore.
Indeed, I have rolled--sometimes right
over you as the wave rakes the sandy shoreline. I have stormed and
raged. Sometimes I have been serene, even playful. Like the
earth, though it's sandy layers shift about and the pebbles tumble and
roll--you have remained, steadfast and strong.
You have
watched me keep my promises. I have never given up my pursuit of
that great Love that is the breath of the Creator...that which enables
all life to thrive. I have had to remove a lot of obstacles--release a
lot of fear--open doors long closed--forgive. I have not
always loved you well--but I have loved you the best that I was able. I
too, like the great Water I also love, still remain, here, in the bowl
of your embrace.
Seven years. There is something
magical and sacred about the number seven. Among the meanings that it
holds is the sense of completion and perfection. This is our seventh
year. And it is contained within a year of sevens--2014. We have
sensed a shift this year; a shift between us, within us, in the
unfolding of our lives--individually and together. Good shifts. Shifts
away from old energies, old "stuff". It feels as though we have indeed
completed some very difficult work, individually and together; as
though we have sweated and hacked out way through a densely overgrown
forest path and find it opening into a luscious meadow with a sparkling
stream flowing through. On one side there is a vista overlooking a
craggy mountain valley...some clouds are drifting lazily, a few
shredding themselves on the tops of massive fir trees. There is a
root-studded, stony path winding down the mountain along the stream.
There is another winding up the mountain above us. We have to choose
which we will follow. Down into the fertile valley--or up to the
mountain heights?
You like to say, "Life is good and
getting better!" Too often I have rolled my eyes and shaken my head and
chosen not to believe you--too afraid that it wouldn't get better--and
not happy enough to honestly declare that 'life is good'. But I
watched you enjoying your life. I watched you not get too worried when
things were not as we would wish them to be. I watched your life get
better, filling up with many good things that you wanted to experience
and do. Thank you for teaching me that indeed, life is good, and
it is getting better. It will be as good as I wish it to be, as I notice
that it is, as I make it. I am learning from you that it will only get better if I allow it.
You
like to say, "Let it go..." I snarl at you sometimes when you say that
because like a fish on a hook, I don't know how to let go of the damn
hook! In the moment it's got me and it's taking me where I don't want to go! You repeat, "Just
let it go"... I think I'm finally learning what that
means. And I think I'm getting better at recognizing the hook before I
swallow it...more adept at spitting it out before it has me...even at
avoiding it altogether! Aren't you glad?
I have
learned that to be successful at Love really is about letting it
go...letting all the "what ifs" and the "if onlys" swirl away in the
stream of life. Choosing to smile at the morning, choosing to allow love to flow. Choosing in the afternoon and in the evening to release
the expectations and demands, to forgive instead of criticize, to
laugh instead of frown, to bless, to embrace. I am beginning to comprehend in a tangible way that love really is about seeing in you the divine
spark of God...the same spark that is in me...recognizing that we are
both Beloved...what's there NOT to love?
Seven
years ago today I stood on a sandy beach of Lake Superior in front
of a Circle of family and friends and made some promises to you. Today
before my readers, my family and friends, I choose again to publicly honor you, to
renew those promises I made to you and to tell you with God and the
world as my witness...I love you.
Happy Anniversary, David.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
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